Monday, 14 April 2014

L is for Lunch with my Brother

It seems that my brother thinks the blog ‘I’ is for Idiot could have been for him, just as ‘B’ should have been for Brother, and ‘J’ could have been for his name. He feels left out of the A-Z blogs written so far this April. (See comments for I is for Idiot.) I understand, he was mentioned last year when my topic for the A-Z Blog Challenge was ‘My Favourite Things’. This year I went more generic, and have no common theme.

I am a solitary person, spend most of my time in solitary pursuits like art and my writing, and recognize that I let few people close to me. But a few years ago life became overwhelming and I hit a particularly dark spell. Not one to seek out the help of others, I did turn to my sister in Florida, safe I thought, as she was so far away. My siblings surprised me, she called my brother, and he called me. The next day we went to lunch and have tried to meet for lunch every month since that time. Only now we meet because we want to, not because of his concern for me.

Family took on a whole new life for me at that time. I gained a brother and a friend, and my kids got the uncle (and aunt) they’d never had growing up. We have family gatherings and the family relationships are only stronger because of the bond my brother and I have created.

We meet for lunch at a half way point between his home and mine. I think he got more than half, as I got the easy drive, and he has to cross the city in rush hour traffic. Boston Pizza was our first meeting spot. We became regulars and formed a friendship with our waitress, feeling disappointed if she wasn’t there. When she left, the job and the area, we changed venues and now meet at Wild Wings.

We ordered the exact same lunch every time at BP, the Thai chicken bites and three cheese bread. Now we order wings and the GarPar Onion Rings. Who needs a menu? We’re regulars at the new spot, and in summer will sit for hours on the patio, talking about anything and everything.

This winter has been hard. I’m a nervous driver and don’t like to drive that far in unpredictable weather, especially when I’d be driving home in the dark. So we’ve not met for lunch since November, I think, though the family has met for the holidays and my birthday. I miss those lunches, and all that talk about writing, art, and any other creative ventures that have caught our interest. It’s stimulating and on the drive home my mind would be bursting with ideas.

My children, as adults, have always lived in close proximity to each other, and have children close in age. It’s nice to see that they are both friends and family, and the grandchildren are close, as cousins should be. Plus, they have extended family in the area, on their Dad’s side. I see the difference it makes for them, how settled they are here with that sense of belonging.

My mother was an only child; and her parents lived in the US so we maybe saw grandparents once or twice a year growing up. My dad had a maiden sister he was estranged from, who also lived in the US, his parents deceased. So we had no roots, no history where we grew up, no aunts or uncles, no cousins. It’s not surprising that we grew up without that sense of family. But better late than never, we have that family now, three generations worth.

Our lunch planned for last week got cancelled, and needs to be rescheduled. It appears my brother had a prior commitment he’d forgotten. I understand, really, I do, sort of, maybe. Oh well, there’s time and opportunity now unless Mother Nature has more tricks up her sleeve. I think spring has finally arrived and the warmer weather can’t be too far off. I think there’s a patio table out there with our name on it.




Anonymous said...

I love the no theme, theme. Leaves you free to write what you feel.
I didn't truly appreciate my brother until we were both adults.

Blogger's Brother said...

There was that so hard?! Yes, I agree, the lunches have always been great. Unfortunately this winter has been particularly rough and we've made do with family visits instead of our one-on-one lunches.

And with the better weather coming I hope we'll get back to our pre-pillar vortex schedule.

blogger's Brother said...

It should've been Polar vortex