Monday, 7 September 2015

Wedding Reflections

Weddings are always an emotional affair, and when everything is over and done, all can give a huge sigh of relief. I don’t mean this in a negative way, like I wasn’t happy to be a part of the blessed event (oops, that’s a different kind of anxiously awaited moment), I mean part of the nuptials, the joining of two lives into one, or in this case it was the joining of six lives into one family, and beautiful it was.

But, as you well know, for the months prior to the event, all of your time and thoughts are consumed with wedding details. All the ‘what ifs’, the ‘why nots’ and the ‘what the hells’ that take over and crowd the everyday. Anyone planning a wedding has to be a major talent at multitasking. Right, General Jenn?

I had briefly met my daughter’s in-laws, and at the wedding was finally able to put faces to the names I had been hearing about for the last two years. I have to say, she is one lucky girl to have gained entry into this wonderful family. And wasn’t it strange that at the party Saturday night I was able to reconnect with some of my own in-law family, and realize that I too had been fortunate in the family I inherited. Though we have not been close for many years, every time we meet, and this time for a more joyous occasion, it felt comfortable, like an old home, like a familiar place where I once lived and remember fondly.

You can’t help but think about other weddings you’ve attended, or not attended as the case may be. I think that marriage is such a big step, such an important event in one’s life that each couple needs to make it be the best it can be...for them, and not for anyone else. In remembering my own wedding, I know decisions were made more to please other people (sorry Mom), than were made by my choice. What can I say; I was young and gave in to pressure.

My son has always been negative on the subject of marriage, following along the line that it’s just a piece of paper, not a true reflection of a relationship. And I agree, in some ways, but I also think it’s more than that; it’s a promise, and not a promise to be made lightly.

After more than ten years together, my son and his partner eloped, and made the promises that they had lived for years...official. For them, it was the right way to do it, and I couldn’t be happier for them. I like that as their first anniversary nears; they have big plans to celebrate, to pull the kids into it, to sort of relive the moment, but still in a quiet and personal way.

My son and I have talked about this, and understand each other as we both like solitary time, and are quite comfortable with our own company. His wife is much the same, and they have the added blessing of enjoying the same interests so solitary time becomes shared time.

If I were ever to get married again (heaven forbid, ain’t going to happen, never, no way, no how), just speculating, of course, I’d go for something in between what my children chose for themselves. Not quite an elopement, but a very small gathering, outside, in a beautiful setting.

The photos taken that day are a beautiful reflection of the day, of the love, the family and the joy. I wish both of my children, and the partners they have wisely chosen, a lifetime of happiness.

What a lucky Mom I am to have children like these two.

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