Spider on the Wall

Oh, to be the spider on the wall. I know, you’re thinking it’s a fly on the wall. That’s if you’re talking about being able to see and hear what’s going on in a place you wouldn’t normally be able to see and hear.

I’m talking the eight legged, scream when you see it, shrieking ‘kill it, kill it’ kind of spider.

I’ve been on my own for a number of years, without a spider slayer to come to my rescue, and have managed fairly well.

There’s the rolled up magazine swat, the toe stomp, and my usual, the squish it with a tissue or wad of toilet paper. The problem with squeezing the spider in the tissue is the possibility the spider has not been killed, but is lurking in a fold of tissue, just waiting for you to release your death grip. So, you have to check, right?

Once there’s been verification that the spider is contained I dispose of it with a quick flush down the toilet. No sense in taking any chances.

At the other apartment they used to spray the windows and doors every spring and fall, not that I thought it did much good. The worst spot for spiders there was my car’s rear view mirror. For those of us who were not out on a daily basis there was usually a web reaching from mirror to door that had to be removed.

It was a standard joke that one day we’d come out to see spider webs entirely covering our vehicles. There was a danger in these spiders, the ones that took up residence behind my rear view. Last year I thought I’d disposed of the strands of the web and was driving along with my window down when the biggest spider came out from behind the mirror.

I’d never seen a spider in the mirror before; obviously wrong in my thinking they spun at night and went somewhere else to sleep during the day. I almost had a car accident I was so surprised. It is not recommended that you try to evict a spider while driving.

Needless to say while shopping I bought some bug spray and gave the spider a warning that he should find another home.

Maybe it’s the dampness of living by the lake, maybe it’s the season, the rain and drop in temperature, I don’t know, but they are in abundance.

Back to the spider on the wall. I’m in bed reading the other night and I see this black spot on the wall, right up against the ceiling. It wasn’t moving but I knew it was a spider. I couldn’t do a quick kill as it was too high, and of my reach. With my recent back problems there’s no way I could move the bed or climb on to it to stand.

So, I kept on reading, and kept a wary eye out for any movement on his part. In the back of my mind I was hoping he’d move along and down the wall so I could kill him more easily. Typical, I got no cooperation.

I have one of those fuzzy long handled dusting things and considered using it, but I’d tried that once before and the soft texture traps, but doesn’t kill. Maybe the broom, but again with the soft bristles and then there’s the risk of knocking the spider off the wall and into the bed.

It’s been two days, and it hasn’t moved. I’ve kept my eye on it and have had a bit of restless sleep. What to do, what to do?

I have these thoughts that it’s up there dead, why else has it not moved. So I should be able to get it with the broom.

My other thought is it’s not a boy spider but a gestating female. Has she got a brood of babies in there, ready to be born? I fear I’ll look up and see my wall covered with spiders looking for a new home. Any decent mother would have her babies in a protected place I’d think, and as there’s no nest and no web, I’m hoping for the dead male spider scenario.

 

Maybe I’ll do some research about spiders. I’ll definitely look up that pin I found on Pinterest, about how to get rid of spiders. I think I pinned it to my board with other household tips.

He still hasn’t moved. I have to go out tomorrow, and with any luck he’ll be gone when I get back. Oops, that raises the question of where did he go?

My son said he was going to drop by before work one day, so guess what kiddo? You’re the newly appointed Spider Slayer.

 

Sons like to feel their Moms need them, so it’s a fair trade.