Envy or Jealousy?

I started to write a blog about my brother and his wife’s anniversary. They celebrated by taking a weekend away, touring the area, taking in new sights and new experiences. On their roundabout way home they visited a few of my favorite places, and did a Studio Tour.

What better way to spend a fall day, I thought. I was envious, and as I had that thought my mind went off on a different tangent...as it so often does...and I got caught up in words and their meanings.

I wrote jealous initially, and crossed it out (writing longhand), changed it to envious. Jealousy always seems to have a bit of mean attached to it, in my mind, where envy is...sadder?

Was I envious, or was I jealous? Time for some research, to learn and understand the meaning of these words.

ENVY denotes a longing to possess something awarded to or achieved by another.

JEALOUSY denotes a feeling of resentment that another has gained something that one feels they more rightfully deserve.

But then I found a different explanation, that stated both envy and jealousy make you feel inadequate.

Envy is when you want what someone else has and jealousy is being worried that someone is trying to take what you want away from you.

The article went on to say envy requires two parties. For example, you might envy your neighbour their bright and shiny new car. You wish it was your car and you driving around in it.

Jealousy requires three parties. Take that same neighbour with the new car. You not only wish you had it, but worry your husband is going to ride off in that new car, with the neighbour.

Interesting, in books, jealousy is often represented by the lover’s triangle.

I’m not jealous. I might feel some envy, wish I had my brother’s kind of loving and long term relationship, but life is what it is. For better or worse (not to make fun of those wedding vows) things happen, some we can control, some we can’t, and the test is how we respond to make the best of it.

Happy Anniversary guys, you deserve every moment of happiness.